by Roy Herndon Smith
We live and thrive only in communities—families, neighborhoods, religious and other associations—in which we care for, value and enjoy each other. The cutting off of frail people from communities weakens not only them, but also the rest of us, as we lose their skills, insights, wisdom, and the joy of their company. A strong and healthy society, in which individuals thrive, requires the identification, maintenance, strengthening and building of communities that include, support and value the participation of all members, including those who are frail.
We live and thrive only in communities—families, neighborhoods, religious and other associations—in which we care for, value and enjoy each other. The cutting off of frail people from communities weakens not only them, but also the rest of us, as we lose their skills, insights, wisdom, and the joy of their company. A strong and healthy society, in which individuals thrive, requires the identification, maintenance, strengthening and building of communities that include, support and value the participation of all members, including those who are frail.
We live in interaction with others. As children we learn how to live from and with others. And if, as adults, we find that we are alone, what we learned with others sustains us. In the movie The Castaway, the sole survivor of a plane crash washes up on the shore of a desert island. He survives because he remembers what he has learned with others—how to start a fire, how to make rope, how to spear fish.
But we do not live by the practice of survival skills alone. After four years alone on the island, the castaway is desperate for interaction with others. He clings to life by holding imagined conversations with a volleyball, “Wilson,” and remembering those he loves. We live through and in the conversations we have with others or through the memory of these interactions.
The greatest suffering a community can inflict on a member is to cast him or her out, thus cutting the person off from:
• the networks of people that provide him or her with food, shelter, clothing, protection and healing
• the social interactions that make life meaningful
• the confirmation of his or her value that sustains his or her self.
Frail elderly people constitute one of the groups in our society that suffer most from the impoverishment, isolation and devaluation that result from being cast out of communities.
Frail people are often unable to work. They often live on fixed incomes. Often, even if they had good jobs when they were not frail, their income from social security and retirement accounts is barely or not enough to cover their basic needs. Medicare and other insurance often do not cover all their medical expenses, especially if they suffer from chronic, disabling illnesses.
Isolation afflicts many of the frail elderly, especially if they are also homebound. Retirement often separates them from day-to-day contact with others. Spouses, partners and friends are often ill or have died. Family members have often moved away. Their frailty often prevents them from participating in associations—religious communities, neighborhood, interest and vocational groups, service and political organizations.
Frail older people, even if they are not poor or isolated, often face devaluation, especially if they live in institutions. Usually this devaluation is unintentional. Health care and social service workers, as well as overwhelmed adult children, often focus almost entirely on frail people’s needs, not on their wisdom, skills, and strengths. Too often, frail older people find no confirmation of the value of their participation in their communities.
Impoverishment, isolation and devaluation too often result in frail elderly people concluding that their lives are over, that they exist only as burdens on those they love, and that death is the only escape from a life that has become desperate, lonely and empty.
A compassionate response to frail people begins with the realization that the desperation, despair and bitterness that afflict many of them are not primarily signs of individual mental illness, but are effects of impoverishment, isolation and devaluation that, in turn, are effects of weak communities. And weak communities afflict all of us. When we are healthy and strong, we can sometimes deny our own suffering that results from the breaking up of the communities that sustain us; we can claim to be wholly autonomous, independent and self-reliant. But, as we tell ourselves in movies and television shows, even the seemingly most omnipotent superhero needs and relies on networks of friends, neighbors and others—communities—to sustain his life; and weakening these communities threatens his life. When we unintentionally cast frail people out of the communities that sustain them, we weaken the communities that sustain all of us. When we impoverish, isolate and devalue them, we impoverish, isolate and devalue ourselves. That is the basic fact of life. We are communal beings. We live, suffer and thrive together.
The current economic crisis makes this fact abundantly clear. What we as a society have been doing to frail people we are now doing to tens of millions of the rest of us. All but a very few of us face the threats of impoverishment, isolation and devaluation that result from our systematic breaking up of the communities that sustain us.
A compassionate response to the weakening of communities that threatens all of us builds on the recognition that each of us needs the participation, skills, knowledge and wisdom of the rest of us if we are going to survive and thrive. The impoverishment, isolation and devaluation of the frail result in the rest of us losing their participation, skills, knowledge and wisdom. And we cannot afford this loss. We need the wisdom of elderly homebound people if we are going to survive and thrive. We need their participation in making the ongoing decisions about how all of us are going live.
We are communal beings. What strengthens one of us strengthens all of us. What weakens one of us weakens all of us. Strong and healthy societies and the strong and healthy communities that constitute them support, include and value everyone, including the frail, because such support, inclusion and valuing are necessary for everyone to live and thrive.
But we do not live by the practice of survival skills alone. After four years alone on the island, the castaway is desperate for interaction with others. He clings to life by holding imagined conversations with a volleyball, “Wilson,” and remembering those he loves. We live through and in the conversations we have with others or through the memory of these interactions.
The greatest suffering a community can inflict on a member is to cast him or her out, thus cutting the person off from:
• the networks of people that provide him or her with food, shelter, clothing, protection and healing
• the social interactions that make life meaningful
• the confirmation of his or her value that sustains his or her self.
Frail elderly people constitute one of the groups in our society that suffer most from the impoverishment, isolation and devaluation that result from being cast out of communities.
Frail people are often unable to work. They often live on fixed incomes. Often, even if they had good jobs when they were not frail, their income from social security and retirement accounts is barely or not enough to cover their basic needs. Medicare and other insurance often do not cover all their medical expenses, especially if they suffer from chronic, disabling illnesses.
Isolation afflicts many of the frail elderly, especially if they are also homebound. Retirement often separates them from day-to-day contact with others. Spouses, partners and friends are often ill or have died. Family members have often moved away. Their frailty often prevents them from participating in associations—religious communities, neighborhood, interest and vocational groups, service and political organizations.
Frail older people, even if they are not poor or isolated, often face devaluation, especially if they live in institutions. Usually this devaluation is unintentional. Health care and social service workers, as well as overwhelmed adult children, often focus almost entirely on frail people’s needs, not on their wisdom, skills, and strengths. Too often, frail older people find no confirmation of the value of their participation in their communities.
Impoverishment, isolation and devaluation too often result in frail elderly people concluding that their lives are over, that they exist only as burdens on those they love, and that death is the only escape from a life that has become desperate, lonely and empty.
A compassionate response to frail people begins with the realization that the desperation, despair and bitterness that afflict many of them are not primarily signs of individual mental illness, but are effects of impoverishment, isolation and devaluation that, in turn, are effects of weak communities. And weak communities afflict all of us. When we are healthy and strong, we can sometimes deny our own suffering that results from the breaking up of the communities that sustain us; we can claim to be wholly autonomous, independent and self-reliant. But, as we tell ourselves in movies and television shows, even the seemingly most omnipotent superhero needs and relies on networks of friends, neighbors and others—communities—to sustain his life; and weakening these communities threatens his life. When we unintentionally cast frail people out of the communities that sustain them, we weaken the communities that sustain all of us. When we impoverish, isolate and devalue them, we impoverish, isolate and devalue ourselves. That is the basic fact of life. We are communal beings. We live, suffer and thrive together.
The current economic crisis makes this fact abundantly clear. What we as a society have been doing to frail people we are now doing to tens of millions of the rest of us. All but a very few of us face the threats of impoverishment, isolation and devaluation that result from our systematic breaking up of the communities that sustain us.
A compassionate response to the weakening of communities that threatens all of us builds on the recognition that each of us needs the participation, skills, knowledge and wisdom of the rest of us if we are going to survive and thrive. The impoverishment, isolation and devaluation of the frail result in the rest of us losing their participation, skills, knowledge and wisdom. And we cannot afford this loss. We need the wisdom of elderly homebound people if we are going to survive and thrive. We need their participation in making the ongoing decisions about how all of us are going live.
We are communal beings. What strengthens one of us strengthens all of us. What weakens one of us weakens all of us. Strong and healthy societies and the strong and healthy communities that constitute them support, include and value everyone, including the frail, because such support, inclusion and valuing are necessary for everyone to live and thrive.
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